Optional Abyss
by Sasusakui
Summary: Sakura is an elite ANBU captain with a very real and very dangerous addiction. She can only control such desires for so long and tends to 'release' them often on the battlefield. But what happens when two victims come back to haunt her in her dreams and slowly begins to drain her sanity? So much so that the very dear friends she has around her can do nothing to save nor stop her.
1. Chapter 1

Everything was up to her. She always had a choice in the matter of decisions that came to her, no matter the speed and urgency in which they came. She was known as a great decision maker, an even more commendable leader, with more successful missions under her belt to prove it. But there was something hidden within her that no one knew about, another side to her that she never let come to the surface unless she could not under any circumstances..control herself.

It had been years since she needed a '_release_'. A _release_ so powerful and fulfilling that sex could not compare to such a feeling of euphoria the moment she committed the deed, but like all addictions, it was a double-edged sword. All addictions are sinful, just as all addictions are deadly or could very well likely become lethal, but with this youthful ANBU...it was everything the word lethal brought forth from one's mind. After such sinful acts are done however, she can't hold back the immediate feeling of guilt and monstrosity running to reign in her consciousness, whatever of that she had left.

Still, she was a wonderful asset to the village, to her leader, and to her friends. There was just one small problem with the other side of herself that she never let out...

It was completely and in full meaning of the word, **insane**.

* * *

Sakura Haruno had rised to the top in the ninja world. Not Hokage if that's what your thinking, but close enough, the Hokage's right hand. Some of her peers and colleagues her age thought it unfair of most of her privileges because she was the Hokage's personal protector and one of his many advisors despite how little she gave her opinion about most things.

Some referenced her to a common dark cloud looming in the sky hovering near a white cloud that took up most of the space; the dark presence in the room. She was a complete 180 compared to her teenage years and even more so compared to her pre-teen days, the days where her smile and her loud mouth would fill everyone with mirth. But ever since Sasuke departed once again, the past invasion of Konoha by the akatsuki, and soon after the ninja war against the fearsome Madara something in her changed...something more serious and cruel.

To be an ANBU she knew she had to hide it well, the cool and focused gleam in her hard eyes, it was looks like these that frightened the civilians and made the Hokage himself anxious. All ANBU had some type of personality to them even if it was the tiniest of character, but Sakura...it was frightening how the most noticeable part of her could simply disappear.

She smiled sometimes, though it never reached her eyes, Naruto could tell it was more just to assure him rather than show her emotions on her face. Otherwise, another person would get a dead, blank stare.

~_Sakura's arrival back into the village after a four month long mission_~

Her jade eyes assessed the village gates slowly, looking around momentarily for any sign of attack or invasion and found none. It was comforting to know that was not the case ,but she couldn't deny that it would be hard to relieve herself out of her battle mood. Throwing away her aimless thoughts, she glanced at the full, big moon above her that illuminated the pathway to her beloved home that much more and then looked at her silent teammates that walked on either side of her. She wanted to be alone to enjoy the path home by herself.

"Leave" she said simply.

They were gone like the hint of a whisper or a sound, it would leave a commoner wondering if they were even there to begin with. ANBU were made to aid people into going insane, that's why they were feared and that's why they were held by the necks with tight leashes.

Sakura pondered on the whole of the village before her mind lingered elsewhere, to the familiar feeling that was coming from the back of her head. It wasn't the time nor the place to have an episode so close to the village, not with an innocent bystander standing no further than twelve feet in front of her at the entrance of the green gates. She could mask it during the heat of battle and in front of her squad on the same plateau, but not here. Anywhere was fine but here.

She was saved by a subordinate of her's that simply appeared in her face, his white and red ANBU mask revealed nothing of his facial features to her.

"We've reported to the Hokage upon our arrival and your dismissal of us, he wishes to see you for a full report" he stated in a monotone.

She peered at him through the matching red and white mask almost mirroring his. "You've done well. You should rest awhile and I'll call if I happen to want you on my squad again"

He stood still and silent and offered no response to her comment, no hint of formality nor familiar with him. Sakura couldn't help but slightly smile, she'd taught him well. She nodded her head at him and like before, he disappeared elsewhere. As soon as she felt his chakra leave the area completely, she relinquished her ANBU mask away from her face and breathed her first breath of fresh air after four months of non stop battle with well bred jounin of the Sound. She closed her eyes silently in relaxation and opened them to find herself in front of the Hokage's office, she heard voices from the inside with enhanced chakra hearing, but dispelled it out of respect for the Hokage's privacy.

She waited patiently before one word allowed her entrance into the Hokage's office.

"Enter" commanded a calm voice.

She opened the wooden door immediately and shut the door gently behind her, standing at attention in front of the Hokage's serious eyes as he looked upon her. He noted the tightness of the bun full of pink hair on top of her head and also noticed the stains of blood on the ANBU mask that lied still on the side of her head, an obvious sign of carnage during her long term mission. This was not the first time she's come back from a mission covered in blood, but it was the amount of it that unnerved him. There was barely any on her at all.

He passed that thought along as just another observation and continued along with the questions he was going to ask her about the mission.

"Good evening Haruno-san" he greeted her with slight incline of his head.

She bowed low and at the hip. "Good evening Hokage-sama"

"I trust that this mission I sent you on was an overall success and that you minimized all if any casualties as possible"

He noticed the slight flinch in one of her legs and the slowness in her response.

"Little to none sir"

The stillness of her face as the lie slipped off her tongue was another unnerving thing about her, she could lie so effortlessly without batting an eyelash and to her Hokage even more so. He was vaguely glad he could see through it so well despite many other highly trained ANBU and the enemy could not.

"Sakura" he said a little more sternly.

It showed more in her face then, the chance that he could find out every secret she was hiding from everyone else. The very thought brought an abrupt fear in her and it showed in her face, there was no escaping it now that she was caught.

"Two casualties. Children of the sound, ages twelve and fourteen" she said slowly.

A long stretch of silence filled the Hokage's office and she could only feel more nervous, why wasn't he asking any more questions?

"Were they _ninja_ children of the Sound?"

She kept her mouth shut, her words and response time not coming along fast enough, he would grill into her if he had to. He knew about all the pride she had as an ANBU and she'd best remember that he was the one that allowed her to still be of service after her little incident three years ago. His fist made a dent in his desk and she jumped in fear, looking at him warily.

"They were civilians.." she said in a rushed tone.

She couldn't bear to look at him now, he would be so disappointed in her. After all the effort he put into fighting his advisors on the subject of her even being an ANBU in the first place just made her feel horrible. "I didn't mean to they were just...there's nothing I could've done" she said looking away from him.

The hokage sighed and stared at her now shrunken form. Just a few minutes ago she was all confidence and now she could hardly look him in the eye. This is the human part of her he didn't wish to see, because this was the only human part of her. The rest was all ANBU. He got up from his chair and walked past Sakura to his office door to which he locked himself, then he proceeded to stand in front of Sakura and remove the formal headpiece a Hokage was required to wear.

Long dark raven hair flowed past the Hokage's shoulders and deep onyx eyes peered into Sakura's porcelain face, her green eyes still darting from his presence uncertainly.

"Sakura look at me" he ordered gently.

She did as she was told and returned his gaze, silently pleading with him not to be too mad with her. What she saw in his eyes was that much more hurtful, it was almost pitiful and regretful as if he could've done more for someone that was already gone.

"I didn't want to have to tell you this..."

"Then don't" she said quietly.

"I don't know how you'll feel about my decision, the next step..."

"Please no" she pleaded with him.

"I can't cover for you anymore" he told her.

She shut her eyes and almost thought about covering her ears. "Itachi.."

His face grew hard at the sound of his own name coming off her lips. "Sasuke is back"

* * *

**A/N: is this my first Naruto fanfic? I think it might be...wait no it isn't -_- the other one was interesting at first but then started to fizzle out at the end. Tell me what you guys think of this one instead :3. Your reviews determine if this is continued or not.**


	2. Chapter 2

Sakura didn't know how to react to such abrupt news, she even vaguely wondered if it would be considered uncanny if she did not react. She herself thought it weird that she didn't, considering her strong feelings for him so long ago, she couldn't get over the fact that she felt nothing when the words exited out of the Hokage's mouth. She considered it best not saying anything in response to it.

Her jade eyes flickered to a spot in the Hokage's office where chakra was being focused. Recognizing the familiar chakra, she relaxed a bit more and her skin warmed knowing just who was about to make their appearance. The Hokage noticed the same chakra flow and smiled fondly, backing away from Sakura, and standing more in the middle of the room. The other ANBU member that popped up was tall, around six foot, and clad in the normal dim gray and black attire all ANBU wear. The only thing that set this particular ANBU apart was the elite tattoo etched onto his biceps, the same marking on the back of Sakura's neck right underneath her hair.

"You called?" the masked ANBU asked.

Sakura observed the other ANBU's mask and silently chuckled at the irony to it. It had red markings that looked similar to whiskers on its cheeks, and ears that sat on the top. Many mistake his mask of being a cat, but she knew better than anyone else it was a fox. Her's represented an old fashion version of what many villagers thought a demon would look like, an ugly face with a horrible expression and the infamous horns sitting at either side of the head. She chuckled silently again, thinking her mask might even be more ironic than the other ANBU's.

The Hokage stared at the elite fighter and rose his eyebrow at him. "How many times do I have to remind you?" he narrowed his eyes slightly. "No masks in my office. You should know better than anyone else how important it is to look someone in the eye when your talking to them"

Sakura had the vague thought that somehow Itachi was directing his comment at her whether than the other person standing in the room. Nonetheless, she made a tsking noise with her tongue to voice her agreeing disappointment in the other ANBU's decorum. He was the only one that did such a thing over and over again.

The ANBU male scratched the back of his unruly blonde head awkwardly and shuffled one of his feet. "Ahh, sorry. I forget the simplest things sometimes" he muttered.

He removed his mask gently and bright blue eyes stared back at the two of them and his hair settling at the nape of his neck. "Anyway" the blonde continued, "You called right?"

The Hokage (Itachi) nodded and then approached Naruto, taking in his state of appearance after his two month long mission. As usual, there wasn't a speck of blood to be seen on him. He nodded approvingly. "Yes, I did. I need you to step in and take my place when Sasuke gets here" he instructed.

Naruto didn't say anything for awhile, a small flicker of emotion flashing in his eyes before disappearing altogether. This is the only time Sakura saw actual emotion in the blonde's face, no one else did though, and they both were known highly because of that. They were like robots in a _feeling_ world. Besides that, Sakura couldn't agree with the thought of Naruto filling Itachi's seat as Hokage. That could go wrong in many more ways than one.

"Anyone else of importance could've taken your place as Hokage, but Naruto could very likely take the bullet for you Itachi...I don't want to risk him" she stated unabashedly.

It was rare to hear Sakura speak with emotion, but when she did it was for Naruto. Unlike most, Sakura cherished Naruto on much more deeper level. After Sasuke left and attempted to destroy the home they all grew up in, he was there for her that whole time. Consoling her, and encouraging her to do better and succeed. For that, Sakura couldn't help but instinctively cling to the thought of Naruto being her pillar of strength and clarity. If he crumbled so would she.

"If he did, it would be for the good of this village and I'm sure he would gladly take a bullet and a couple more just for the sake of this place. I understand your emotions for him, but I need him to do this for me" Itachi looked encouragingly at Naruto. "He's the only capable candidate for this job and I'm positive that if I didn't have this seat he surely would"

Naruto nodded his head at the Hokage in thanks ,but kept his words to himself. He was still thinking about Sasuke. Sakura relented through carefully hidden clenched teeth and said no more, she wouldn't disrespect her leader by going back and forth with him.

"If I'm to act as Hokage..." Naruto pondered aloud. "Where are you stationing yourself, and how will we receive orders from your location?"

Itachi smiled inwardly. He couldn't help but reminisce when he thought Naruto was just a kid ahead of his time and rushing towards a future full of regrets, but as he watched him grow up... he could clearly see he was wrong in his assumption. "Just along the outskirts of Konoha. He won't find me there, and I don't want to stick around for when he does. I don't want him to know I'm still alive"

Naruto and Sakura didn't say anything in response to that and continued to wait on their next orders.

"You'll come to me directly since I'm not far from the village itself but not near either. I'll only trust the two of you to relay my orders to any other subordiantes I may want to command at the time. Until then, both of you are the only ones that will be able to see me" he told the both of them.

Naruto frowned in thought while Sakura actually decided to say something. "The villagers aren't stupid. They'll know that its not you sitting at the top of the tower, but Naruto who's quite popular as an ANBU. What are you planning to tell them?" she asked.

Itachi nodded at her, already thinking into a solution for that. "I don't want the villagers to panic and wonder why I'm not here, but I've already prepared for that" he looked back and forth between them. "Your clones are exceptional Naruto, you should be able to make an exact replica of me. It didn't take a genius to notice you were studying my mannerisms and behavior"

Sakura's eyebrows rose in surprise as she looked at Naruto. "What?" she asked.

"You never know when and where you'll have to impersonate someone Sakura, it was a precaution not an act of disrespect" Naruto said calmly.

Itachi nodded. "And very smart indeed. I know you'll have the village's best interest in mind if you can't even trust your own Hokage"

Sakura noted the slight hint of snide in Itachi's voice but had no other thought of it. She broached another subject instead, a subject that's been on her mind ever since the Hokage told her an old friend decided to show his face again. "Does he plan on trying to destroy us again? Or perhaps trying to kill Naruto? He can't be here on _peaceful_ terms"

Naruto looked over at his long term friend and saw in her eyes that she wouldn't hesitate to kill Sasuke if she had to, the Hokage probably could see it too. Morever, he could see that she was bothered by the fact that Sasuke even wanted to be back there on bad terms or not, she no longer like him as a person.

"I would ensure that he didn't set a foot inside this place if I thought he would" Itachi said sitting back down at his desk. "Besides, he's already here and living near where you stay Naruto. I trust you to keep an eye on him for tonight, and you too Sakura. His timing for showing up here is, I admit, questioning"

Sakura concealed the groan she desperately wanted to let out and peeked over at Naruto to see if maybe he felt the same way. When she looked, the emotion that reached her from his eyes was conflicted and confused. She figured he didn't know what to feel as of now.

"You two are dismissed, I don't want any trouble from him while he's staying here" Itachi added.

The two ANBU nodded and reached for their masks, adorning them on their faces and promptly disappearing from the Hokage's office.

~_Naruto and Sakura converse amongst the treetops_~

"Your thoughts?" Naruto asked his pink haired companion.

Sakura said nothing at first and then sighed, muttering something incomprehensible behind her ANBU mask. "I don't think anything about it. I only feel irritated that we have to do this, I should be on a mission right now"

Naruto looked at her sternly. "You just got off a four month long mission in the Sound village and I, a two month mission in the Grass, I could say we both need a break"

Sakura quieted again in disagreement. She liked missions much more than being stuck in the village on standby, the battlefield is where she felt the most alive. "It doesn't matter. I just wanna get this over with and go home" she said uttering to herself.

The blonde could see in her eyes that she didn't want to go home, that was the last place she wanted to be and he could see it written all over her face no matter how blank and passive she made it seem.

The two arrived in front of the door that held the Uchiha symbol and Sakura nodded at Naruto who disappeared, his role was over. Sasuke couldn't see that Naruto was ANBU or that would raise his suspicion and also ruin the plan with Naruto acting as Hokage, Sasuke was too smart for his own good.

Sakura stared at the door and pondered on how she should act around him. She felt lost and shuffled her feet absent minded, would he consider it suspicious that she wasn't the way he'd left her? Or would he be expecting it? Or just maybe he would act hostile toward her and tell her to get out. That last part would make her job a lot easier and would make her feel a lot better about being around him. She wouldn't have to weaken her state of mind trying to fit the image he made her out to be, nor would she have to try to salvage something that was never there to begin with.

The door opened before she was prepared and there she stood face to face with the said Uchiha.

"Sakura.." he muttered before she said anything.

It took her awhile to say anything to him. Mainly because of the fact that he looked noticeably older, and his hair was edging down to the middle of his back and the bangs framing his face rested on his chest. The only thing that remained the same about him was his onyx eyes.

She could feel herself glaring horribly into them and she had to hurry and catch a hold of her emotions, remember her training and letting her emotions drain away. He noticed this with a frown. That was very unlike her. He knew at some point in his life that she would end up being at least a Jounin, but ANBU? The last he checked, ANBU of any kind did the more _dirtier_ jobs for Konoha. It took much more of a toll on the mind than any other Shinobi's job did, no, if he knew her like he thought he did she wouldn't be an ANBU in the first place.

He then began to question if this was Sakura at all. No one else had pink hair like her, but that could easily be imitated. Her chakra felt the same, and the height and weight on her after all these years was about right too. Yet, her emotions and reactions to the sight of him was very unlike her. Sasuke was at least expecting her to be teary eyed and all over him ,but she wasn't...

She seemed to notice his wariness of her and sighed knowing that the only thing left to do to put him at ease...was to take off the mask. Her petite hand, that was shielded from his sight by clawed gloves, removed the white and red adorned mask and she placed it gently on her hip. Sakura heard his small intake of breath as his eyes searched her face for something that wouldn't appear. He swallowed lightly and stepped away from the door frame, letting the door swing open wider for her to enter.

She returned his wary gaze for a second before letting herself step inside his home.

~_Sakura and Sasuke talk on his couch by a window_~

The conversation didn't start for awhile between the two twenty year old something's. Sasuke was still trying to register Sakura's appearance in front of him, while Sakura was trying to keep a tight rein on her emotions. She never thought this many years later that she would hate the man sitting in front of her, looking so dumb and shocked as if he would've never thought she would get too far in her life without him in it. There was a short katana on her hip too, her fingers were really itching for it.

"Your..an ANBU now" he said slowly, more shocked that he was able to say that out loud.

She nodded numbly. "I'm in the elite ranks and currently a captain to a squad of junior ANBU" she told him.

Sasuke let her words sink in. He knew for sure that the last thing she was trying to do was impress him, not after the look he saw flash across her eyes in that brief moment. It was even more nerve racking when he realized she no longer wore her emotions on her sleeve, he couldn't tell what she was thinking at all even without the mask.

"So, are you going to explain to me why your here?" she seemed to demand.

Sasuke was a little put off by her tone but he really didn't mind, it was just surprising that she used the same tone with him that he would often use on her. He'd just never heard before from a female no less. "A new start. It's all over and I wanted to start something new and finally...just...settle"

She stayed silent and continued to stare at him; wondering if what he was saying was true. This could all be some marvelous trick to destroy the village yet again, she could never trust him again.

"And I'm suppose to believe that?"

He shook his head. "You don't have to"

"And if you prove me right?"

He paused. "You'll have every right to kill me"

He watched the hurried calculation in her green eyes, they pierced into him with intense concentration. "Good enough"

She stood up and replaced her ANBU mask back at its rightful place, only looking around for a split moment to make sure she didn't leave anything. Satisfied, she headed towards the door and didn't plan to say goodbye or anything. She'd gotten what she wanted and decided to leave, she wouldn't stay another minute.

"What about Naruto?" He asked aloud.

He noticed she was leaving and didn't want or felt the need to stop her ,but he did have that one last thought on his mind.

She stood still in front of his door. "Naruto is Hokage now, I'm sure you didn't have a doubt in your mind that he would get there. He's kept this place safe for years after the war, the villagers are very grateful to him" she said plainly.

He could feel the fondness for Naruto leak out of her voice. The way her body visibly relaxed and her skin seemed to brighten just at the sound of Naruto's name. He wondered vaguely if they were together. "I want to see him" he found himself saying.

She turned towards the door again, and waved her hand back at Sasuke without missing a beat. "That won't be possible"

His face scrunched up in confusion. "And why is that?"

"Maybe you haven't noticed what time it is" she said gesturing to the dark world outside the nearby window. "He needs as much rest as possible"

Sasuke stared back at her until she said something.

"You'll see him soon enough" she said flatly.

He seemed satisfied with her answer and left the subject alone. She needed to get away from him, he could see it was causing her harm being near him and he wouldn't keep her there any longer than she had to. Sasuke stood with her and opened the door for her to leave before his mouth decided to let any unnecessary words flutter out.

"Who are you going back home to?" he found himself asking her. Damn, too late.

She paused again and sighed, the pink strands of her hair falling from their place in stress. "The same person your going back to" she told him.

His eyes avoided her person for a moment and remained so until she was fully out of his home and walking outside. He knew exactly what she meant by what she'd said. Sasuke wasn't going back to anyone, it was the same for Sakura except she had no intention of changing that fact, at least not with him.

~_Sakura returns home_~

Her dark black knee-high boots were the first thing to come off of Sakura's body. The rest of her uniform followed suit until it made a trail all the way to her bedroom which wasn't too far away from the front door. She noticed her feet making footprints in the dust all over the floor and cursed out loud, it had been so long since she'd been home. Even the air inside the place was stuffy and Sakura struggled to breathe normally without feeling like her throat was closing up on her. Her first action was to open all the windows in the house. She had no care for the common burglar what so ever, he/she would get cut up into bits before making it anywhere inside her home.

After fresh, cool air ventilated her small one bedroom home, she changed into compressed black shorts and a light white and ruffled cami. She laid her ANBU mask on top of her dresser next to various swords and daggers she treasured in one place. Then she made her way over to her mirror and gazed at herself, seeing the obvious signs of exhaustion and tiredness in her green eyes that no longer cast any light nor mirth. She could honestly say she looked miserable.

Sighing, she carefully took the beaded pins out of her intricate bun and laid them near the others on her make up dresser. She could smell the potent poison in them as she put them away and was glad she didn't accidentally prick herself with one like last time. Her hair fell in portions and then finally all at once when she took out the last pin and set it down with the others. Her bangs sprang to frame her face gently and in slight waves, while the rest of her hair flowed down her back in a straight waterfall.

A yawn made its way up her throat and she happily released it. Maybe she could get use to being in Konoha for a little while. The night was beautiful and the weather was good. She would also be able to experience the luxury of having a bed to sleep upon for the night and knew she would sleep better than well. Another sweet breeze went through her house and she sighed in content, making her way towards her bed sleepily and climbing into it. As soon as her eyes started to close shut, a scent caught her attention and prompted her to sit up in her sheets and her hair pool around her body. She looked around her room for the source of the smell and found nothing, just the sound of her calm breathing and the trees rustling outside from the wind.

Her chakra began to pulse at her senses as she broaden them and soon she began to see, hear, and smell everything within a fifty mile radius of her house. She could even feel every individual thread of the sheets she was laying in, but nothing really stuck out at her as odd. Just the village sleeping peacefully. The scent itself brought a chill upon her whole body, she couldn't have possibly imagined it since it was so clear and now just like the wind it was gone. It took a lot to scare Sakura, but when she was...it had to be something deep enough to chill her to the bone.

One of the little Sound children, she remembered they were brother and sister, smelled just like the scent she smelled a while ago. The last time she checked, they were both dead because of her.

* * *

_**A/N: O.o Oh snap! Comment your thoughts on the following scenarios!**_

1) _Naruto and Sakura's relationship from Sasuke's point of view_

2) Naruto and Sakura's relationship from Sakura's point of view

3) _Itachi and Sakura's interaction_

4) _Itachi being Hokage_

5) Itachi not wanting Sasuke to know he's alive

6) _Naruto and Sakura being elite ANBU_

7) **and LASTLY, Sakura's little problem if you can guess what it is :3**


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning was very stressful for a very known elite ANBU. His famous blonde and unruly hair went unnoticed to most that knew him because his boisterous attitude would completely over shadow such a trivial thing. But now that his famous attitude was gone, people were just surprised to even see him around.

His room reflected a soft dim blue from the cloudy sky outside and his open windows drew in a soft breeze from the outside world. He could smell the rain coming and sighed. That was even more of a reason to stay home and sleep if anyone asked him. Another scent caught his nose as he lay half naked in bed, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. What could Sakura want so late in the day? "Sakura?" he called out.

Just as he uttered her name, she rounded the corner in his hallway and found herself in Naruto's bedroom, a rather troubled expression possessing her face. "There's something wrong with me" she told him.

He sat up straighter in his bed and watched as she carefully sat at the end of his bed; legs crossed. Naruto could easily tell it wasn't too long ago that Sakura woke up and the said woman was still clad in her pajamas. Only clad in a ruffled white top and tight, black shorts. He slightly smiled at her pink hair pooling around her legs and back like a blanket, he could remember the days where it was short and the constant care she would take to it.

"What's wrong?" he asked her.

He noticed her shaking hands as she stared at him uncertainly, nervousness being clearly written over her face. "Sakura?" he called to her.

She looked down ashamedly into her lap, clear signs of regret in her dim jade eyes. "It was..two kids two months ago, during the mission"

Naruto's face turned solid. He was never afraid for his friend until now. Sakura made him the first person to ever know about her strange addiction years ago when she first committed the deed and he found her covered in blood and shaking in her own filth right in the middle of some woods outside the village. He was shocked then and still shocked now whenever she told him of a relapse she would have, the sad part was that he didn't know how to help her and it pissed him off to the core when he realized he couldn't.

She shook her head slightly, perhaps trying to remove the memory from her mind altogether. "They..they were so afraid Naruto" her voice shook. "his sister was younger of the two and she had a funny smell about her. Like perfume or something, but it was almost...putrid. Like something rotting"

Naruto stared at her. Not pressuring her to continue, but pressuring her to trust him enough to at least tell him what had her run to his house this late in the day.

"Anyway, last night. I smelled that same scent." she looked out one of the windows in Naruto's room. "It was so strong. Almost as if I had her little body buried underneath one of my floorboards right under my bed...I couldn't sleep"

He gently reached for her hand and she let him take it, calming a little more when he started rubbing small circles into it. "I think sleep would do you good right now Sakura"

Her eyes immediately shot to his as she shook her head furiously, a sort of shiver going through her body. It made him sad to know that she was the monster she was so afraid of. "I'm not saying you should go back home" he told her reassuringly. "You can stay here, in this bed. With me. If you'd like. For as long as you want"

He would be stupid not to see the light blush of embarrassment on her cheeks. It wasn't an invitation to sleep with him, but it was an invitation to be comforted by him and he knew that's what she needed right now. Not sex.

"I don't want to impose on you Naruto" she caught herself. "even though I am right now by telling you my problems, but..." she stopped talking as she noticed he was already laying back down in bed; his naked upper half clearly exposed. She sighed and decided to just crawl right next to him and lay beside him, her back facing him and her heartbeat going a mile a minute. Her blush deepened as he began to put his sheets and comforter over her right along with himself, and feel him pull her body closer to his.

She almost cried when she felt his arm wrap tenderly around her waist and his face nuzzle in the pit near her lower back. He was back asleep before she knew it and she couldn't help but turn to face him, his face now nuzzled into her lower stomach.

"Thank you Naruto" she said aloud as warm tears met the pillow under her head.

He was the only person she could do this with, the only person she could trust enough to share a bed with (not intimately), and the only person she could tell absolutely everything to. Her eyes started to drape close as soon as the sound of rain on a nearby windowpane soothed her ears, it was near impossible to stay awake and enjoy the warmth Naruto was giving to her, but alas, sleep claimed the pink haired woman.

~_Late Night and Sakura awakens to a barely awake Naruto_~

Green eyes fluttered open and met with deep blue ones. The rain outside the windows was pelting the glass a lot harder now and seemed to moving in all directions that wasn't natural for rain, but Sakura wasn't focused on that right now. She was more focused on the compromising position she was currently in with her most loyal friend. Their bodies were closely melded together as Naruto was already settled between her warm thighs. They were still clothed, Sakura noticed, but with how close they were and seeing as Naruto was only wearing his dark blue boxers, it honestly felt like they weren't.

Sakura didn't dare move in fear of what would happen next, but looked at him uncertainly. "Naruto..." she breathed heavily. "Why are we...? What are you doing?" she asked him.

He didn't respond to her, but he leaned his face closer to her's. Making Sakura in return, push her head further into the pillow to get away from him. This only worked so much until his lips finally touched her's in a sweet and gentle caress. Her eyes widened and she hesitantly kissed him back, almost afraid of where this would take them now that she's crossed the line with him. The feeling was intoxicating as the kiss got deeper and more intimate, until she slipped up and let a moan go where his tongue touched her's. A hard object pressed against her nether region and she moaned again, knowing in the back of her mind what that something was. She hoped he wouldn't regret this later, she also hoped she herself wouldn't regret this later. It could get worse or get better where they were heading as of now, and there would be absolutely no middle of any sort. Would she be mentally prepared of losing him forever?

She started to swat his caressing hands away from her. Sakura wouldn't lose him over a couple hours of heavy breathing and loud moans, she wouldn't lose him over something that would be hurried and then regretted later on in the morning. She couldn't take that risk. He seemed to wake up when she couldn't keep eye contact with him anymore, she could see the recognition begin to clear up his hazy eyes and couldn't look at him anymore. To be caught in such a vulnerable state with him was embarrassing but none the less enticing, lying underneath him as his hard member still pressed against her, it almost made her want to lose control with him. But she had to remind herself why she came here, and why she went to Naruto in the first place.

"I'm sorry" he said quickly before rolling off her and back on his side of the bed. "I don't...I don't know what happened"

She sat up along side him and touched his forearm. "It's...its fine Naruto. We've both been through a lot and...maybe I should go" she said beginning to slide out of his bed.

A hand, she realized it was Naruto's, latched onto her wrist before she could fully get out his bed. His eyes said it all even when his mouth opened to speak, he looked like he was in so much pain at the moment that Sakura immediately felt sorry for him. What was she doing to him?

"Don't leave." he pleaded with her.

He could feel the resistance coming from her hesitant wrist, she didn't really want to leave but she felt it best and he just couldn't deal. "I've been protecting everyone in this village for the majority of my life, without so much as a simple recognition for most of those years" he paused and swallowed a hard lump forming in his throat. "I want to be weak...to be protected for once, for once I want someone to let me fall and then hurry to catch me as I had for them all this time"

Her eyes widened with emotion as he spoke on. This was the first time she ever heard something like this from him. She would stare at him from a distance during the years he was celebrated after the war and thought all the pressure must be stressful and was almost glad she was not in the same spotlight. Not in Sasuke's and not in Naruto's, just that person that helped and managed not to get herself killed.

"Save me Sakura" he said lowly. "I need this" he said pulling her ever so slightly to him.

Her eyes were beginning to water as she understood him completely even though she never experienced such need herself and before she gave her actions a second thought she crawled onto Naruto's lap and kissed him herself. "Don't regret this later..." she told him between kisses. She assumed he got the message as he began to stick his tongue in her mouth again, groping her in places he always imagined himself touching. He almost wasted no time in getting her shorts off and underwear as well in one pull, it was then that she completely bare from the waste down for him. He watched as her face contorted into that of pain before pleasure as he lowered her hips onto him, when he was fully inside her he never imagined her walls to be so...compressing.

He could say with all intents and purposes that she "fit like a glove".

It stormed outside as two important people made love to each other in one of the other's home. The whole world could've came down upon them and neither of them could say they would've cared to begin with. It fell short of happiness but it was pretty close, far from love but more of a satisfying need one was generous to give. It was like being stranded in a desert for years on end and taking your first sip of cool water in a long time. It was understatement to say that something undeniably changed between the two friends , but nothing anyone might think. It was going to be different between them from now on.

~_Early morning when Naruto and Sakura are finally done_~

Together they laid sweaty and exhausted, almost to the feeling of near death. The silence was calming and once again Naruto was faced with the low blue hue of the raising sun. The night had been previously eaten away by their love making.

Naruto glanced slightly at the woman laying next to him, who was awake and blinking plainly at the ceiling and atmosphere around them. Her pink strands of hair was covering most of her body, but the bulk of it was almost sprawled over his bare chest. He wanted to take responsibility for his weakness ,but isn't this what he wanted? To be weak and to fall so someone could catch him? Yes, he'd wanted this. He wanted to be weak and protected for a short period of time before he had to assume his role as savior once again. Even if it was for one night, or one hour, or down to the last minute. He just wanted to feel.

"Naruto" she called to him softly.

He looked at her in question as she turned her naked body towards him. "What do you want from me?" she asked.

His eyes widened. "There are undeniably things only I can give you ,but...there are some things I can't. A relationship being one of them, I don't want to hurt you. And I won't stand for hurting you, so I will deny you of most of it"

Was that disappointment in his eyes? Was he hoping for something more besides this? She would have to stop what she was doing before it came to be that. Sakura wouldn't risk losing Naruto even if that meant she would die. She would not lose him.

"I know." he said turning his attention to the ceiling too. "It stings but I can bear with it. I knew that out of all things that would be too much to ask, I already asked so much"

He found her hand easily and grabbed it. "I know that was your first time Sakura"

She didn't say anything as a single tear made its way down the side of her face, she didn't feel it and didn't acknowledge it even being there. "It might've been destined for it to be you anyway. How you've stuck by me where Sasuke never has, how...you've never left me at any moment" she paused. "even when you found out I was a monster embodied as a human being (figuratively), you've stayed"

Naruto could hear the deep rattling of chains deep inside of himself and knew that something about what Sakura said resonated with Kurama. He squeezed her hand before kissing the top of her knuckles, breathing out a sigh and putting a tired hand over his face.

A knock sounded at his door and Sakura shot up in alert and nervousness. Naruto calmly halted her and mouthed for her to stay where she was, her frightened and wide green eyes said it all. _No one_ could know about what they did. The knocks persisted and Naruto got up from the bed and swiftly threw on some low hanging blue jeans. His bare feet padded softly against the clean wooden floors and approached the door promptly, not bothering to ask who it was before opening the door.

Sakura listened with the help of her chakra as her heart nearly pounded in her throat. Her hand covered her mouth in shock as Naruto's words echoed back to her with ease.

"Sasuke"

The onyx eyed male nodded as he easily slipped through into the blonde's home. "Kiba told me where to find you. I'm surprised he's a jounin now" Sasuke said aloud.

Sakura almost tripped over her own legs as she stood and quickly did a jutsu to conceal her chakra, it was a good thing Naruto's was enormous enough to cover and engulf her's completely because it bought her time to do the justu and stand in the closet in Naruto's room. Naruto was a little peeved that Sasuke just took it upon himself to just edge himself inside his house like he owned the place, but continued talking with him anyway.

"You didn't expect everyone to just sit around and do nothing after the war did you? You disappeared and we had to move on...so that's what we did" Naruto said plainly.

He noticed the abrupt absence of Sakura's chakra and almost let on the notion someone else was there when he carefully concealed it. Sasuke was observant and he was no fool, the slightest slip up could be the end of him and Sakura, possibly the whole plan too. No Hokage would sleep with his ANBU, especially with the elite. Sakura really would have to leave as soon as Sasuke left his house.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at him. "It seems the bulk of our generation seems to be pinning my disappearance on me. Since when was I cared about?"

The blonde was utterly _disgusted_. After all this time...he was hoping that maybe somewhere deep inside, Sasuke had changed but maybe he just wasn't ready to change yet. "I don't know what you think of us Sasuke, lower than you or just worms that crawl in the dirt. It's hard to tell" Naruto said sitting down on one of his leather couches in the corner of the room.

The raven haired male looked at Naruto again, seeming to finally see him for who he was now and taking in his changed personality. It seemed to have happened to everyone that he thought he once knew. First Sakura, now Naruto whom he was sure would be the last to change, but he assumed after the war hit Konoha hard reality hit him more than anyone else. It grew him up at the age of twenty-three.

"I'm not here to torture people Naruto" Sasuke muttered.

"Then could you stop trying to step on what little tolerance we have for you left?! Everyone is tired Sasuke! We're just tired of the games and no one wants to go through it anymore" Naruto's eyes burned with recognition of the pain that occurred what seemed like so many years ago. "Everyone's wounds are still too fresh, including Sakura's" Naruto found himself telling him. Sakura's hand hit her heart gently as she soaked up every word Naruto said, remembering every straw that Sasuke took from her mental well-being and every line he crossed where even her life was concerned, and then with the stress of her addiction burrowed deep inside of her on top of Sasuke popping back up whenever he felt it necessary. She couldn't deal with Sasuke anymore. No one could.

Something in Sasuke shifted and made him to be curious of everything going on around him. Everyone avoided the subject of the Hokage position Naruto was supposedly to be in charge of and absolutely no one spoke of Sakura unless it was to commend her on her successful missions and protection of the village. It was as if everything was brand new and he was the only conservative thing left behind from the old world no one remembered. _Did he really expect everyone to stay the same_? He would be a fool if he did, but he would admit that he wasn't quite agreeing with what he was being greeted with now.

"Are you and Sakura together?" he asked the blonde bluntly.

Naruto sighed. "No we're not Sasuke. Why are you even asking?"

"I was just thinking since everything has seemingly changed, that maybe she would've latched on to the only thing left for her to latch on to" he said nonchalantly.

Sakura had to do breath exercises to keep her anger under control. _Was Sasuke really so spiteful towards her?_ Naruto, on the other hand, wouldn't tolerate such things from Sasuke. Did he have something against Sakura after this whole time? Or did he just...harbor ill feelings for her ever since she tried against her heart to kill him?

"I don't know what your problem is concerning her Sasuke, but...she's none of your concern now. She's grown up and she can handle herself and her well being I assure you, she doesn't need you stressing her out!" Naruto snapped at him.

Sasuke shut his mouth. He couldn't even acknowledge that he was angry at the moment because he couldn't get over the fact that the whole reason he was acting the way he was...was because he didn't like change. He expected a happy welcoming to where he didn't get one, a happy village to where he a got a serious one, and to Sakura still harboring feelings for him where she did not. There were so many places he'd been to where it reflected Konoha as it was now, and he guessed he just thought that there was that one happy and loving place he could always go back to. To know that place along with the people were gone...was just too much for Sasuke to bear. Someone like him needed consistency and stability. This place felt like it would crack from all the pressure in just a short year's time.

Naruto seemed to read his mind and his face grew soft. "Look. I know this may have come to a surprise to you-that everyone has moved on-and you don't like it, but what were we suppose to do? _We had to adapt, or we would die._ Physically, mentally, and emotionally. By my life we were going to adapt, I wouldn't have this village dying with or without you. So I resorted to building soldiers instead of people and building an impenetrable wall around Konoha so we could heal and the rest of the world could go by its own business" he told Sasuke.

Sakura could do nothing but nod her head in agreement at everything Naruto said. The only thing that wasn't true was that Naruto himself did not build the soldiers, Itachi did, Naruto was one of the first soldiers Itachi molded and then Sakura, leaving it to them to make the rest of the elite and general ANBU including the Jounin into the same soldiers. It was the only way without shedding any blood, there just couldn't be any feelings involved.

"How am I even suppose to talk to you without feeling like I'm talking to a complete stranger?" Sasuke asked him quietly.

Naruto couldn't look at Sasuke. He looked everywhere else but at him. "I don't know. Maybe if you were here I could've eased you through the change, you could've helped Sakura take her change a bit more lightly but it seemed to stick with her. You have no one to blame but yourself"

It was then that the two made eye contact. They stared at each other a while longer before the contact broke and Sasuke was gone and the room was silent once more. Sakura kept the jutsu going until she felt Sasuke's chakra completely disappear from the area and it was there that she let it go. She slowly walked into Naruto's living room and saw him slowly, almost numbly get to his feet. He stood still as she approached him in nothing but her bare self and her slightly messy pink hair. He leaned his head onto her shoulder as she hugged him tightly, her skin soaking up his silent tears and silent sobs. This was part of being "_weak_" too.

Letting someone see the ugliest side of you, and hoping they accept it and love it as you.

* * *

**A/N: and chapter 1 ends on a rather sad note :/ I'm surprised on how much of my good writing came into flow in this. I didn't think it would get this...should I say pensive? Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed this installment of Optional Abyss as much as I did. Please review :3**


	4. Chapter 4

_Cut them._

_Cut them slowly so it shows in their faces. _

_Your crazy! How could this be happening to me?! I'm suppose to be protecting them, their my teammates!_

_Why do you assault me with your words as if we're two different people? __I am you__. _

Sakura's eyes shot open and wide to the point that it hurt. Her heart was racing and made no clear signs of stopping any time soon. She clutched at her chest fearfully and looked around her own room. Windows closed, the phone isn't ringing, and every door was locked. It was daylight outside but it wasn't comforting, and her bed sheets were entangled between her legs and partially on the floor. She felt smothered and something else rushing up her throat at a pace she could not keep up with.

She tripped getting out of her bed but recovered enough to make it to her bathroom; throwing up whatever contents she may have consumed two days before. When she stopped what felt like up chucking her organs into the toilet, she slid down onto the cold white tiles of her bathroom floor and leaned her head tiredly against the thing that held her sickness inside. Her breathing was shallow, slow, and pained as her heartbeat only seemed to increased to the point where she could only make pained yelps and howls. The pain soon stopped when she had the urge to cough into her hand, which didn't surprise her to find blood covered in it.

There were many times in the past where she tried to heal her frequent sickness, but no matter how great of a medic she still was, it just followed her throughout her life like a dark cloud. Sakura wasn't stupid, she knew in order to stop her illness for at least three months she needed to indulge in the addiction she had. There was no other way.

She couldn't live like this for much longer. It was impossible. She would get sicker if she didn't find someone suitable, and when she did, only then would she be able to feel...better to say the absolute least.

Her bare feet led her back to her rather messy room and she looked around in confusion. Where did all the slash marks on her walls come from? It was like someone decided to abuse her room with a katana. She walked to her weapon dresser and peered at the sheathed weapons before grabbing at her favorite one. It was a huge weapon of destruction, and she didn't understand how the dresser itself was able to support such weight.

It was almost hung up the furniture like a mantle piece, a large axe that seemed to be most likely owned by an ogre less likely by a early twenties year old woman. Even more surprising that she didn't need to hands to wield it, however, without the help of chakra, two hands would be needed. Nonetheless, she could wield it all on her own.

Its handle was intricately designed with red colored cherry blossoms on it, the vines leading to them colored a nice deep green. The blade was placed in a protective thin and plastic case; adorning the color of black. This was her most prized possession, and something she treasured dearly. Often enough she found herself dropping whatever she may be doing to stare at it for minutes on end.

What bothered her was the nick or scratch leading from the handle all the way over to its blade, straight down the middle as if someone got to it with a nail. Normally she would be outraged, but now she was just curious.

Reaching up and raising the weapon off the wall easily, she held it up in the air with one hand and inspected the scratch with the other. She almost dropped the whole thing onto the floor as she realized her prized possession was almost rusted over with dried blood.

Her hands shook as she began to smell the rotten, putrid smell of the little girl for the second time and the screams of her older brother as he called her name over and over seemed to emanate from the blade itself. The protective case covering the blade seeped with blood and soon the liquid covered the whole surface of the floor in her room.

Sakura could only stare in horror as the liquid caressed her feet and more of it dripped from her hands, a slight echo in the back of her mind played over and over in different volumes.

_Your a monster._

_A monster that feeds off the sorrows of your victims._

_You pretend to be so righteous in your judgement._

_When your the one that gets a kick out of dismembering defenseless people._

That was it. She dropped the battle axe and it engraved itself deep into the wood and was swallowed by the blood as she covered her mouth. She sobbed and screamed to the deaf ears of anyone around. Her world was spinning and her head was splitting, she couldn't take being in her own room anymore but couldn't move to save herself from what she was seeing and hearing. She felt like she was going insane.

Sakura had never been more terrified in her life when another voice invaded her mind, a voice she never wanted to hear again when it decided to show up in her sub-consciousness. It was cynical and spiteful, but also sounded like it was constantly on the verge of laughter just not quite there yet.

_What's the matter? _

_You weren't feeling this way when you killed those kids, quite the opposite actually. _

_If any of this was real to begin with you wouldn't have this room any other way._

_Stop acting like you don't love this._

From her shut eyes came a feeling of shift from deep within her. A feeling of never-ending satisfaction and borderline sadistic lust. She felt she was drowning in a sea of black and buried underneath tons of soil. Movement was out of the question. It was rare that this happened at this time, but she knew what was going on. She prayed that her body didn't leave the house.

The scenery quickly disappeared from her line of sight ,but the battle axe was still in the floor. She stared at it blankly before grabbing at its hilt with no less than a hand and pulling it with almost no resistance whatsoever. The battle axe was put back on the wall and secure and soon she turned around and stood in the middle of the room; looking around with knowing eyes instead of frightened ones.

"What exactly are you two trying to accomplish here? Your dead, you both are. She'll never really be sorry about what she did to you so give it up" she spoke harshly in a whisper into the atmosphere of her room. "the only thing she'll do, is add more people like you to her bucket list and be happy that she did. After all, _I am her greatest sin_. She'll never forget about me."

Angry whispers assaulted her ears and she could do nothing but laugh and smirk, they were persistent upon torturing the girl. "Stop being foolish you two. I can banish both of you from this world to a place you wouldn't want to go. I should know because I was once a resident there"

Gone. They were gone for now but he knew they would be back as soon as he left. They were stupid to ever think he would let her be destroyed by them, he was powerful and they were weak. What they did and said meant nothing and mattered even less. He returned back into the depths of her mind, pushing her limp and near faint consciousness back to the surface. She couldn't be stuck down there for long or she would die, so he would have to be careful. The end of her would by all means and purposes be the end of him. And he couldn't have that.

From one supernatural being to another, he wouldn't have his host succumb to their invisible clutches.

_~It's late in the day and the sun is setting. The light emanating from the bright ball of orange is reflected in the onyx eyes of a male's that's listlessly staring into it~_

He was completely in his element here. The silence and absence of any animals that made loud noise like woodpeckers, or birds of the sort soothed him into a state that was close to being numb but all the same free from all the noise. Normal people would be unsettled from such silence, but Itachi Uchiha was no normal person. He just happened to be the level-headed Hokage that ruled over the Leaf and rebuilt it from its near ruin, it was ironic really, the same village that plotted nonetheless to murder his whole clan (and succeed) was the same village he nourished back to health like a sick child. After all of that, he still couldn't shake a feeling of something dark creeping along the horizon, something that may just put Konoha back in the hole he'd dug it out of.

Itachi wouldn't let that happen again whether Sasuke found out about him or not.

"I can see why you picked this place"

He was currently sitting outside of his house at the front of its porch, without his usual Hokage robes which left his skin and face free from its heavy coverage. It was Sakura's first time seeing him in such normal clothes that she wasn't surprised that she found herself staring longer than she should've. Of course, he was related to Sasuke so there was no doubt that he would be handsome as well, but he was more attractive in the sense that he gave off an aura of maturity and wisdom in a young face. She figured he would probably be as close to the appearance of an angel than one could get. Still, she at least tried to advert her gaze and show her Hokage some ounce of respect.

Itachi wasn't born yesterday and knew when a woman found him attractive, but he didn't think Sakura would be the same case. Rather, he thought because of her own inner demons she would much prefer to stray away from such an aspect but he guessed that her way of thinking involved "_there's no harm being done just looking_". He smirked at his own philosophy and waved the plainly dressed woman over to him. She stood at a distance for awhile before looking at him uncertainly, she always felt more intimidated being closer to him than she needed to be. But he still waved her over with a hint of reassurance in his dark eyes.

She sighed inwardly and made her way towards him and left the security of the tree she was standing beside. As she walked over to him, Itachi took the chance to look at her as well. Taking in her small and simple little dress that matched the color of her jade eyes. It had a black bow tied in the front of it right under her covered breasts and brought out the curves her exposed thighs and hips made through the billowy fabric. Her feet graced white sandals and some of her pink hair was put up while the rest was flowing down her back and shoulders in slight curls. Itachi could see why many other men thought her as the most beautiful girl in the village, but scary when she got mad. He'd also heard that his brother would treat her like an insignificant bug beneath his shoe when they were younger, _what did he think of her now_?...

"Sit" he said offering her the chair next to him. She looked at him a little longer to be sure she heard him right and sat down stiffly next to him, a slight breeze catching her pink hair in its soft currents. Silence started to settle and she began to get nervous. Being in his presence for this long, she knew he would've given her a mission by now but he did not and being around her Hokage in terms of not receiving a mission was putting her on edge. Sakura put it off as just being nervous around a powerful man such as himself, and maybe because he looked so much like Sasuke.

She nervously tucked a hair behind her ear and avoided his gaze, staring fiercely into her lap. "Naruto said it would be best to dress in civilian clothes before I came to see you. He didn't want Sasuke to be suspicious about seeing me leave the village in my ANBU attire, knowing how curious he already is about Konoha he may just follow me"

"Sasuke isn't really like that if he's still the way I remember him" Itachi said to her. "He'll be curious yes ,but not enough to pry into your private affairs so deeply as you've said. You should act normal around him to put him at ease, the less tense he is the better"

There was something he must've said that put Sakura in a even more nervous mood, she almost seemed to be doing everything in her power to get away from him without physically moving away from him. What was it about him that had her so...nervous? "Your uncomfortable" he stated rather than asked. She seemed to look up in surprise and slowly but surely, her face bled red with embarrassment. She brought her knees up to her chin and hugged her arms around her legs, meanwhile the fabric around her thighs were riding higher with the help of the passing wind.

"Is it really so obvious?" she asked him with a sigh, still not looking at him. He could only smile at her slightly without her knowledge. She would perhaps feel a lot more relaxed around him if she tried looking at him first. But he nodded at her anyway, answering her question. "Your practically on the other side of the whole world trying to get away from me"

Thats when she looked at him, her mouth twitching at the ends before she let out a medium volumed chuckle that was utter surprise to Itachi's ears. It was rare even seeing a smile on her face, but no one would believe him if he said that for once Sakura laughed and laughed until a tear softly dropped from the corner of her sparkling eye. She wiped it away and noticed Itachi's blank and mildly shocked face, then her face grew serious and she looked around.

"What is it?" she asked him uncertainly. He just shook his head and chuckled himself. "Nothing. It's just...its nice to hear you laugh once in awhile" he told her gently. Her face grew red again for a moment and she returned to her action of avoiding his gaze again. He couldn't help but find it disappointing that she'd retreated back into her shell so quickly after coming out of it for only a moment. He leaned back into his chair and closed his eyes momentarily, peeking at her every so once in awhile.

"So..are you ever going to tell me what about me has you so disgusted that you feel the need to cower from me?" he asked her. She gave him a mild horrified look and raised up her hands a little. "Oh no. It has absolutely nothing to do with you, its just...I feel more relaxed behind the mask" she said quietly. He could understand where she was coming from, based on his own experience being an ANBU elite. The mask helped the person behind it feel safe knowing there's danger all around, even taking some of the nervousness away. He guessed it was the same for her. However, he felt the need to reassure her...the need to tell her that she was beautiful in her own right and that she didn't need the mask since it did her no justice. Everyone knew that except her.

He opened his mouth to voice his opinion before shutting it as he saw Naruto approach them. Sakura more or less shot up from her seat beside Itachi to run towards the blonde and jump into his arms. Naruto's arms instantly surrounded her and a large hand of his comfortingly caressed the back of the pinkette's neck. Her shoulders shook slightly and Itachi could tell from a far that she was crying. It mattered none to him that the blonde roused such a reaction out of her, but he was curious as to what happened to their relationship that caused it to grow. He also wondered vaguely if he should put a stop to it.

Naruto was plainly dressed, as was Itachi and only wore his familiar orange pants and a black t-shirt. It was almost a breath of fresh air to their Hokage to see something from the past work its way back to the present. The raven haired male watch the two exchange a short and brief conversation before Naruto led Sakura back into the presence of their Hokage. Itachi nodded at Naruto in acknowledgement as he approached and the blonde, after letting go of Sakura's hand, bowed to him in respect. The Hokage gestured to the vacant seat next to him and that left the pinkette standing by her lonesome in front of the two handsome men. Itachi didn't fail to notice the expectant and stern look the blonde was giving her either.

"Believe it or not, I came to you with a purpose. Not just to talk aimlessly about...my _stupid insecurity_" Itachi frowned and was about to open his mouth to defend her from her own abuse, before she gave him a soft and distant gaze that begged him not to. "I'm getting worse" she said plainly. Itachi's mouth went into a thin straight line as he inwardly cursed a line of obscurities while Naruto's mouth upturned in dissatisfaction.

"I meant to tell you as soon as I got here but...I guess I'm a coward" she muttered with a hint of cynicism.

"Your not a coward Sakura, you were just scared of what the Hokage might think...I'm pretty sure he's not that disappointed-"

"I am disappointed" Itachi corrected Naruto. Naruto looked at him with mildly shocked eyes but nonetheless kept his response to himself. "If your condition goes any further than what it is now then I'll be forced to relinquish you from your duties permanently until one of us can figure out what's causing it in the first place" Itachi told her sternly.

Sakura's eyes glazed over with liquid ,but not a tear fell. She understood completely and thought his course of action best, but knew that would just anger...the _thing_ inside of her. There was still more for her to tell at least, she wouldn't keep either of them in the dark about her problem. That would only lead to something bigger and badder and Sakura wouldn't let anything endanger her home not even if it was herself. Plus she wasn't stupid enough to deny help when it was being offered to her, she knew full well that she couldn't handle this on her own.

"There's more" she muttered quietly. Itachi nodded for her to continue, while Naruto gave her an encouraging gaze so she wouldn't feel alone. "I'm not entirely sure what is wrong with me, but I know for sure that it is not my fault...nor my desires that are being executed. Rather they are someone else's" she said trembling slightly.

Naruto and Itachi's eyes widened slightly. If anything it sounded like she was talking about a tailed beast, the only difference was that they don't force their hosts to do anything unless their lives were endangered. A tailed beast was out of the question.

Naruto was the first to speak. "But Sakura...you can't be sure about this can you? We hardly know what's going on and we all know there's only ten tailed beasts around, eleven counting the one sealed away permanently. Your not suggesting..."

Sakura shook her head, trembling all the more. "I'm not suggesting anything of the sort. I don't know what it is but...I know that it devoured my other self inside my mind. Its trying to make me go insane, I just know it" she said in a panicked tone.

* * *

**A/N: **O_o** Sakura seems a little coo-coo does she not? Well, you guys know the truth but Itachi and Naruto don't and may start looking at her in a different way then she would like. Who knows? I surely don't. Your probably wondering how Sasuke would somehow tie into all of this...well lets just say he'll play a very important role where Sakura is concerned (**not sexually it's just not that type of fanfic :/** ). Anyway, that question might be answered in the next chapter or the one after that. But be assured that it will be answered.**


	5. Chapter 5

Sakura's eyes were downcast as she sat in front of a yelling Naruto, she heard his voice yet couldn't quite make out what he was saying. Her eyes shut for only a moment as she replayed the events of her and Itachi's conversation in her mind over and over, inwardly calling herself an idiot. Why did she trust him enough to tell him that much? What brought her to say such things in front of those two? She had forgotten for just a moment..looking into those dark pools that belonged to her only Hokage, that maybe he would understand her if only for a little while. But of course he didn't...they both didn't. Telling them anything else now would be fruitless, it would no longer relieve her of any weight. She would feel judged the whole time.

"I thought you would understand me Naruto...you of all people" she said quietly. Naruto immediately stopped talking, surprised that she said anything after so long. "I saw the way you both looked at me. Your both afraid; trying to figure out ways to contain me and keep me watched at all times. I'm not stupid Naruto" she told him.

Naruto frowned at her. "Afraid for you! Haven't you been listening to me at all? We only want what's best for you Sakura-

"Did you somehow manage to make yourself forget that Itachi now wants Sasuke to watch me?! I won't be able to hide it with him around, Naruto. Sasuke will find out faster than anyone else that there's something wrong with me, and keep in mind that we don't know what he'll do when he does..."

Naruto grasped some of his hair in a frustrated gesture. "Yes I know this already. That's why we just have to work harder from now on to make sure he doesn't find out. But for the mean time...Sasuke wants to be a part of the village again. He wants to be a part of us again, he'll be more than happy if I assign him to the ANBU corps alongside you" he paused momentarily, "he won't show how content he will be but...he'll be grateful"

Sakura sighed. Out of all of Naruto's optimism she still couldn't shake the dark feeling that Sasuke would eventually find out that there's something very off about her, something that could very well disturb even him. She wouldn't know how to react to his judgement of her, she did know that she wouldn't react too kindly to it either.

"Fine. I'll except it for now, but don't think I'll be civil with him after all the time that's past. It's nothing but business with him"

It disheartened the blonde to know that there won't be a second chance with Sakura for Sasuke, but it was a start to get the two on the same team together. Who knows...once he finds out about Sakura's problem he'll be able to help her. If it wasn't Sasuke himself, Naruto knew better than anyone how dark of a place the Uchiha was in at one point. The question was...if that same Uchiha would be able to help Sakura out of her's.

"I know that it would be a stretch asking you to except Sasuke on some level..." Naruto trailed off his sentence seeing Sakura's face grow more shocked as he went on. She, on the other hand, was wondering if Naruto knew the depth of what he was asking for. Did he know exactly what he was asking her to do?

Her face then turned angry. "First you and Itachi want me to swallow the fact that he now has to watch me on my own missions but now you want me to let him back into my life?! Do you even know how mentally vulnerable I am right now? I'm practically falling off the deep end and you want me to let yet another factor that may push me straight off the cliff into my own insanity...back into my life" Sakura paused, knowing she sounded crazier than she felt at the moment. There was no point in trying to act sane around Naruto anyway, she trusted him. "you said...you wanted me to save you. how? I can't even save myself, from myself"

He considered her words and pondered deeply upon them. It was only a week ago that he felt he was talking to the confident and self-reliant Sakura he always knew, it scared him how fast her mindset could change if left by herself. When she was with him she almost seemed normal, the Sakura he always knew, but maybe he didn't know her like he thought he did. Maybe there were things, personal things she's been hiding from him that's effecting her in such a way.

"You said so yourself that it isn't you making you do these things...that its something else-"

Sakura chuckled mirthlessly. "Do you realize how utterly crazy you sound? Did I sound like that? Kami, I should've just kept my mouth shut"

"That only makes things worse Sakura. You need to get stuff like that off your chest so you can clear your head a little and let us help you. Its impossible to handle what your going through alone which is why..." Naruto took a red tint. "which is why I want you to stay here"

The pinkette was taken back. "I've already stayed a night before Naruto. I don't want to impose on your privacy...your already doing so much for me anyway"

"That's not what I meant" Naruto said shaking his head and laying a hand on her shoulder. "I want you to live here from now on. It's clearly not good for you to be on your own at your place, your mind wanders too much when your by yourself"

Sakura stood. "I refuse to be burden to you Naruto. I'm not going to let you be affected by something that I can't even control"

Naruto could almost completely understand what she meant by that statement alone. It took him years to fully master the beast within him, now, him and that same beast were on terms that Kurama would refer to as "an acquaintance-to-host relationship" simplified as 'friends' in Naruto's dictionary. But with Sakura it was more like...a blood lust she couldn't get rid off but only temporarily satiate. He sighed and sat her back down on the bed in his bedroom, he did this while dominantly crawling on top of her lowering body. He hovered just over her face and spoke when her breath hitched and pink began to color her cheeks.

"You'll never be a burden to me Sakura. Your forgetting that I love you..." Just the sentence alone made Sakura feel warm to the very tip of her toes. "Not only do I think your safer with me I also took the time to be selfish with that suggestion, I want you to myself. I'll share you with no one, not even with the being you said is making you do things you don't want to do"

Her eyes started to water as she cupped his cheek with her hand, crying softly. "Your so dumb. How can you be in love with a total psycho?"

"I've been in love with you for a long time Sakura, most of my life actually. There's nothing more crazy than that"

She shook her head at him and embraced him tightly. His idea was something that she still couldn't agree with but it sure as hell beat being alone at her place, still, she needed reassurance that no harm would come to Naruto because of her...for once in a very long time- she needed Sasuke's help.

_~Sasuke's eyes shoot open after a questionable dream~_

He felt like he was thrown back into his body rather than waking up, thus his quickened heartbeat encouraged his right hand to shoot up to his chest and grab at it. What exactly did he dream to make his body so upset? The more he thought on it the more he couldn't remember what exactly happened in his dream, the more it seemed to fog away from him.

Sighing, he sat up and through his covers off of him the only thing really occupying his body being his long plaid and red pajama pants. He started the brewer for some tea and leaned on his counter to wait for the familiar beeping sound. His dark and tired eyes looked around his living room and he was silently thanking himself that he never opened his shutters that morning.

A knock on his door surprised him and he went to get it without a word. He opened the door to find Sakura standing there, if anything she looked as if she was forced to come to his place.

"What do you want?" He asked her in not the kindest way.

She narrowed her eyes at him before edging her way inside of his home, not caring at all that he gave her a warning growl before she even stepped inside. Her footsteps were light an careful as she walked inside, almost as if she was in foreign and enemy territory. Sasuke almost had a hard time believing it was really her mainly because she use to be so carefree around him, it was so different now.

Her long pink hair was in a high ponytail much like how Ino's use to be except there was a large braid around the base holding it in place, and from what Sasuke could see she wasn't carrying any weapons with her either. What could she possibly want from him after making it so blatantly obvious she wanted nothing to do with him?

"You never answered my question..." Sasuke said with his arms crossed as he stood in front of her.

She was silent for a while before biting her lip and looking up at him reluctantly. Sakura was no longer the same girl that asked for help nor liked asking for help, so coming to the person she despised the most for something remotely close to such was ego-shattering.

"It's obvious to you that I care deeply about Naruto" she stated rather than asked.

His face turned blank. Oh yeah. That. "Sure. I hardly see you but I can tell with Naruto that you two have...grown closer over the years"

She nodded and put her head in her hands, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I can't believe I'm about to tell you this" she muttered to herself.

Sasuke waited patiently for her to continue and at one point went back in the kitchen to take his tea off the burner. He didn't assume anything and only poured some for himself.

"I have to protect Naruto no matter what" she said to him quietly. "He doesn't know he's in danger"

Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows in thought. The last time he saw Naruto he seemed fine, he's the Hokage so he was protected at all times anyway. No one would be able to get through the countless amount of ANBU lined up just to protect him. Including Sakura who was apparently labeled the best of the best. If that was true, Naruto wouldn't be in any danger for a long time.

He sipped quietly from his scalding tea, looking at her form for a moment. "Even he was in danger what does that have to do with me?"

Sakura's head snapped up as she looked at Sasuke with a deadly sense of killing intent. "If anything happens to Naruto that **you** could've stopped I'll kill you"

The Uchiha all but smashed his tea glass on the counter behind him as he approached the still glaring female in front of him. She had the nerve to come into his house for no reason and then threaten him all in one stroke? No. It was one thing for her to be over hostile towards him ,but to go as so far to...he literally couldn't even think straight.

He reached for her and it was almost like she disappeared. Sensing her somewhere behind him, he ducked and rolled out of the way of a kick that would've most likely knocked him unconscious. Seeing what he thought was an opening, he threw a punch at her torso and missed her by a hairline inch.

Palm flat, she shoved her hand under his chin and shot his face upwards towards the ceiling. Blood shot from his mouth as he clamped down harshly on his tongue and winced slightly. Stumbling backwards from the force of the attack, he barely missed a kick aimed towards his head and instead caught her by her ankle.

Quickly activating his sharingan, everything seemed to almost go in slow motion. It was now much easier to keep up with Sakura now that his eyes were analyzing almost all of her attacks. He gazed down at her calf and thighs as she kicked at him again, with her other leg since the one he had in his grasp wasn't going to be let go unless he wanted it to. He decided to take the kick she threw at him at his forehead instead of the side of his head and bled slightly.

He smirked before smashing his elbow down onto her leg he still had in his grasp and heard the satisfying snap of breaking bone. Her gasp of pain was the last thing she did before failing down onto his carpet and reaching down to caress her broken themur. Tears sprang to the edges of her eyes in pain and before she could quickly heal herself he was straddling her torso, both of his hands on either side of his head.

"I never took you as the cocky one Sakura, but I guess everything really has changed around here. You honestly thought that you were strong enough to beat me in a fight? I almost killed you once before remember?" he said narrowing his eyes at her further.

She gritted her teeth in anger and slight agony at the throbbing in her leg. How did she let Sasuke get close enough to do that?! "I was stupid back then Sasuke and you know that. Stupid enough to fall in love with someone like you"

He had to admit that the words stung a little. To know that she no longer adored him after years of wanting him just to come back home to her and Naruto stung a little. Did he really mean so little?

"But I will admit that I need you..." she said with a still face. "I wouldn't have came to you if I knew you weren't capable enough to do this..."

He stared at her seriously. What did she want him to do? All he wanted...all he really wanted was to be—

Her eyes glistened slightly, the first time he'd ever seen emotion on her other than anger since he'd gotten back. "Your the best at hurting me, the only one that really can. And I need that from you right now, Naruto doesn't understand the danger he's in because he's in love with me"

Surprised and somewhat shocked, the Uchiha leaned away from her momentarily. Still straddling her just in case she wanted to get violent again. "So your saying...that you're the danger Naruto needs to worry about? Why?"

She shook her head at him, smiling a little the way he remembered she use to. "If I tell you then I just might sound crazy, so you'll have to see for yourself and take judgement then. But for now I want you to promise me something right now"

He was wary of what she was going to ask him to do and she could see that in his uncertain eyes. Whatever she told him at this moment will impact him for a very long time.

"What is it?" He asked her.

She closed her eyes and leaned up towards him, embracing him as she did. Her lips were right next to his ear as she whispered her request. His eyes widened as she finally finished her sentence and she leaned back down on the carpet, her hair sprawled all over it. A faint smile was laid across her face but Sasuke found nothing in what she said worth smiling about, he looked down at her incredulously. She couldn't be serious could she?

"Why me? Why are you asking someone like me to do that?" His voice was close to cracking and he had to stop himself. "Sakura you can't make me do this"

She shook her head. "I know what makes you tick Sasuke. I at least knows what makes you angry and I took advantage of that when I got here today. You will do this because I know you won't let anything happen to him, you two were much closer than you and I were, more than we'll ever be. You'll never love me the way you love him and I understand that"

"What about you?"

"What _about_ me? I already told you I'm of no importance whatsoever, I couldn't even contribute to any effort whatsoever in the war. Sure I save lives but compared to you and Naruto, who's saved this whole village. Neither of you will lose anything if I were to disappear one day" she said with finality.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "But me and Naruto would lose everything! Our world would crumble without you in it...I hate to say this, I really do, but..."

She wanted to smile but she didn't. The air around them was too thick and too heavy for her to smile. Especially at the thought of her backup plan in case Sasuke wouldn't follow through with what she asked of him. She would have to manipulate the whole situation if he didn't and she would prefer not to but...that would have to be what she did.

"Don't say it Sasuke" she said with a smile. "You don't owe me anything. You don't owe any of us a damn thing. It's about time we all grew up" she said leaning towards him again.

He fought back the urge to hit her again. Hit her because she made him feel so weak even though he was physically stronger than she was, she was a weakness for him. A soft spot. She got closer to him, their noses inches from touching and her hands reaching behind his back. He knew she was healing her leg up but still the sparks were there. They were too close to be called anything less than friends.

When she was finished she easily slid out of Sasuke's reach and over to his couch where she sat the first time she walked into his house. She was surprised that nothing was broken on the account that the two of them were fighting not too long ago. He stood and sat next to her, their thighs touching. They sat in silence for a moment and Sasuke took the moment to observe her.

Her hair, straight and vibrant in its color, ran down her back and stopped right above her waist. She wasn't quite wearing her ANBU uniform but more of what you would underneath in case it was cold out. Her pants were all black and baggy in some areas, but her torso was covered with a tight black tank top that accentuated the muscles underneath. More or less her whole body was toned as if she'd been fighting for years, and she has. What Sasuke thought stood out the most on her body, was the black brand of the elite ANBU symbol. It looked like it hurt.

Sakura noticed him staring and followed where his eyes were trained. She looked at her brand and snorted, shaking her head with everything but mirth. "It didn't hurt as much as it looks like it would. I was seventeen when I got this brand"

One of Sasuke's eyebrows rose up in surprise. "Right after the war?"

She nodded. "When you disappeared as soon as the dust cleared Tsunade called me over to her and I was branded right there on the field. Back then, I had no idea what ANBU was even suppose to do. Everything about them is strictly laid under wraps so that even the jounin don't know much about them. We still out rank them though so if we ever joint missions they listen to us automatically"

"I only know that ANBU does the more..._tactical_ missions for the village. I never thought you would be up for something like that" he told her honestly.

She nodded. "I wasn't at first. I enjoyed being a medic and being that person everyone knew would help them, but...I guess Tsunade had other ideas for me"

"So she relinquished the title after the war?" He asked her.

Sakura shook her head. "No. It was automatically given to Naruto as per written in her will. She died as soon as the fighting was over. Before she did though, I was branded and she made me Naruto's personal shield. I was to be his advisor as well"

He was surprised to say the least about her important position along side Naruto. It would've never occurred to him that Sakura would even be strong enough to assume this role at all. Rather, she was forced into it by unfortunate circumstances. She closed her eyes in her memory and looked up at his ceiling painfully.

"Being in ANBU...it more or less destroyed me. I've done things that even you might find disgusting" she mockingly smiled and looked at him. "If only I could go back to the way I was before. Stupid and in love with you...it was much more pleasant. Being part of ANBU...it messes with my head"

Sasuke could vaguely remember when his own older brother was a part of ANBU and there would be some nights when he would have to calm him down out of his nightmares. Then again, his brother had a stronger mind than Sakura did. He wondered just how much damage it really caused Sakura's fragile mind.

What were her methods to coping with what she had to do on those missions?

* * *

A/N: hi guys sorry this update took so long to come out. I just wanted to say I made a short little youtube video based on the first chapter of this fanfic. One thing I do have to warn you guys about though is that in the title it says an itasaku story ._. Idk why it does :/ PM me for the link or comment that you would like the link to it. The only way will I make more videos is if you guys comment here you want more videos or comment there you want more videos. Otherwise, you'll only be getting the written fanfics on here. R&R guys ^^


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